Peter (柯益友) (peterintaiwan) wrote,
Peter (柯益友)

Pop my balloon

The last 2 chapters for this semester have been hard. I have not understood the grammar and barely remember the vocabulary. Last week I got a low score on my dictation and 20% on my test. This week my grade on my dictation was a Question Mark. Yes, in place of a grade there is a bog, fat red "?".

I always feel like the odd man out. In my last 3 semesters there has NEVER been another students in my class who has (a) never learned a foreign language (b) has not had some exposure to Chinese [as in one of their parents or grandparents speak it] or (c) is not Japanese or Korean [who already know how to write characters].

For the last 2 semesters I have always had to go back and repeat chapters. I have accepted this as what I have to do. It just takes longer to learn Chinese for me. People say that if I didn't work I would learn faster. Well, I have to work to make money so I can learn Chinese. What about scholarships, they say. Well, I can't apply for any of the scholarships cause my grade isn't grades are not good enough.

I am going to stick with it, but to be honest I feel pretty deflated today. I see my classmates from my first semester. They are at least 15 chapters ahead of where I am. Yet here I am plodding along in the end of my third quarter at the same spot they were at halfway through their second quarter. I know I should not compare myself to them, but its hard. I just wish it would sink in. I've already been here 8 months--what is my problem?
Tags: mtc, stuff
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.